That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.